2010: The Only Direction Left To Go Is Forward!

I swear each year gets more and more evolving for me. As usual for this year, (I believe this is the 5th time I’ve filled out this survey) I take this opportunity to reflect. I do it for personal reasons, and if you want to read it, you’re welcome to. I learned this year, that the best way to accomplish your wishes, is to have it written down and let it stare you down in the face. I’m also going to try to keep this one a little shorter, to better adjust to the short attention span that social media has placed upon us, and the millions of other status updates this post will become buried in.

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?
I started the year off at a Lady Gaga concert, which was amazing… I was dressed like Adam Lambert (not intentionally), and I got a little bit of heat from it, but it was welcomed and it made me laugh. I also played a few unpromoted test shows in small venues around town with my electronic music project, Chris Big Money. It was rewarding, the confusing reactions of the audience motivated me, however I want to further perfect my live set and get past a few barriers before I take to the stage. I also discovered painting after an art contest at my job gave me the incentive to paint. I had a lot of fun doing it, it reminded me of making music. Most importantly, I earned my Associate’s Degree’s (I have an A.A. and an A.S), from Valencia which took me four years to do. I walked down the stage with my “Big Money” glasses. For real, I did. I still need to order the grad photos before next year but I have other photos to show for it. I started school at UCF, after taking two semesters off. During those two semesters I worked on an dance music EP called Sunset Beach. In December 2010, I put out a full length remix album for it. Lastly, I grieved the loss of my mother who passed in June of this year. Sorry to end it on such a sad note, but let’s move on. Life wasn’t too eventful for me this year. Just college graduation, my mother passing, two musical releases (I started using Ableton Live in January 2010), a few concerts, returning to school, and keeping steady at my place of employment.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Did I keep my new years resolutions? Bachelor’s Degree stuff, yes. Live shows? Kind of. Evolve Chris Big Money’s sound into something more emotional and positive, I’d like to think so. Do something about my fitness? I started to, but slowly flopped out of it. I like doing it though, such a typical pledge for me to make and break. Not so many T-shirts? Kind of, I switch it up a lot more often now. Stop being so confused about things? I think so! My tight school/work schedule forces me to have things mapped out for the day. Now I am gaining a better idea of what I want to do. Go somewhere special this year? If you talk about my mother’s wake/funeral service I organized, or college graduation then yes. It was very special. I didn’t travel anywhere though. My eating habits though, have only gotten worse in 2010. I gotta fix that. Tidiness? I’m trying now, but it’s a very hard commitment for me to keep. I’m getting better at it though. 

I do have new years resolutions.
1.   Eliminate limiting factors that prevent me from moving forward in life.
2.   Continue to do well at UCF and work on your bachelor’s degree this year.
3.   Continue to evolve Chris Big Money, including experimenting with new music ideas, continue to be myself, only moving that weirdness forward.
4.   Make new friends. It’s very interesting, but now I have a lot more friends online than I do in person. I want to get more personal with people.
5.   I’m getting older. It’s becoming a daily struggle to come to terms with that. I feel pressured to change some of my ways at times, but I know that I could never stay that way.
6.   I don’t think I need to post everything I do on Facebook, I see my friend count number dropping all the time. This is why it’s time to get more personal with people.
7.   I don’t really care if I get to travel or not, but what I do care about is, taking more time to do what makes me happy, and doing more meaningful things.  
8.   I must use a new plan to attack my goals. I need to physically stare at them everyday to keep me on track. I’ll need to buy a dry erase board.
9.   I had some rough experiences with roommates this year forcing me to transfer out, I will strive to get my own place without roommates this year, I can only hope I can afford to do so when my lease ends.
10. Problems aren’t going away until death. So, I must get better at solving them.  

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
I’m unsure if anyone close to me gave birth this year.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My mother. She was a proud wife, mother, and free spirit. I wrote a song called “Mother” to honor her life, although I was estranged, and the lyrics reflect that.

5. What countries did you visit?
I visited all kinds of countries via the internet. I have been taking in foreign cultures particularly European and Asian culture. I have a few friends that are really into video games, anime, and Pokemon. I also find French film and music to be very enlightening. I just like culture that’s all.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
Last year, I said that I wanted to distance myself from people, which I was quite successful at. However, I have to realize that while I want to naturally be a hermit, I rely on advice from my friends and people of the internet (since I don’t have my parents.) While my introverted-ness has helped me improve at my artistic side, my personal side has only gotten more opinionated.

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
January 2010- Moving into a new apartment, seeing Lady Gaga’s Monster Ball, and getting kicked out of Independent Bar for getting too drunk on NYE. hahahaa.
February 2010- I was so upset that I was getting older, and I kept thinking I do not act my age. Who cares?! I may not have everything guys my age have, but I make up for it with presence and individuality.
March 2010- Participated in an online podcast interview called “The Mixed Tape” for the University of Utah. Thanks to Sarah Groves and Brian Kuhlman for that one. 😀
April 2010- Played my first live show promoting The Thought Process LP from 2009. It was an open mic set, but I treated it like a full concert. I had a good time, and I thought it was very unique.
May 2010- College graduation ceremony. I owed it to myself to walk. I saw my grandparents travel to see it. It was very special.
May 2010- I honestly don’t remember when it was, but there was Nerdapalooza. Not typically my scene of music, but it was a fun cultural experience just watching a small music community get together and celebrate themselves.
June 2010- My mother passed away. It all happened so quickly. Planning a funeral service is very disheartening, and it ages you by a few years.
July 06, 2010- Released Sunset Beach EP.
August 2010- Returned to UCF for school. I changed my major to Arts & Communication with a Marketing minor. I experienced a rejection from the Nicholson School of Communication because my GPA wasn’t high enough (I had a 3.1 at the time.) I decided from that I was no longer passionate about pursuing Digital Media as a career and decided to change it to something that would help me better understand people and keep my artistic abilities in check.
September 2010- I took part in a fraternity rush at school, just to see what it was all about. It was ok, but I haven’t played video games in over 2 years, so I really sucked at the games. My demanding work and school schedule prevented me from deciding to move forward, plus I also don’t think that’s where a person with my interests really belongs.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting my associate’s degrees! It was four years in the making! After months of research and debate. I chose UCF, and now I’m working on my Bachelor’s Degree there, which I plan to finish in Spring 2012.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Letting personal barriers, and a busy schedule keep me from fully exploring my potential. I want so much more, even if I managed to work full time, attend school full time, and be a full time artist. There needs to be more time available. I read that getting seven hours of sleep versus eight hours is still very healthy and you’ll be more rejuvenated when you wake up. I need to get better at waking up faster. I take forever to get out of bed some days.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
It’s possible, but I don’t remember it.

11. What was the best thing you bought/Received?
Right at the end of December 2010 (after listening to Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti’s “Before Today”) , I got a wild hair telling me to get back into guitar, so I bought a cheap guitar setup. I’m having fun with it, even though living in an apartment can get on your nerves when you’re a budding musician like me.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
I shouldn’t name drop, but whatever.

A few people, like Miss Jackie who is really nice to work with, and her assistance with my mother’s untimely passing is greatly appreciated. I couldn’t have done it without her advice. My friends, particularly newer friends like Electric Type, Quartz Relic, Miles Miteff and Panda Krokus who continue to inspire me to make music. Malckom Williams- for being such a champion pokemon trainer. lmao. kidding. your phone calls are very insightful, and i love to talk shit with you. I wish I knew more people I could talk the kind of shit I talk with you. It is really nice you work overnight sometimes, you already know… pokeballs up son! Dino Brown, for being a great supervisor at work and making my many days at work go much faster and better. Grandma Joan, who has been another great conversationalist I will never grow tired of talking to. My buddies Joe3, Ramiro, and that whole clique for knowing how to rock, when others only just roll. Big ups homies. To Damian Daviid (aka Double D) for continuing to make great music, and the ideas we exchange are invaluable to me. Looking forward to the new Cellar Doves album. My hairstylist, Laura Bonino who put me through my mohawk phase, and now my pompadour phase. I love all these fun hairstyles you come up with for me! It’s good to have a master stylist who really understands the artistic side to having style, no wonder I keep coming back.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Everyday life can be depressing in general. The only way to eliminate problems is to get better at solving them. That’s my goal this year. It’s how we stay paid!

14. Where did most of your money go?
A lot of places I didn’t expect it to. Every few months something would come up which prompted me to spend. I broke even this year for the most part.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
I’m actually really really excited about my next project. I have a 10 day vacation from work, and I plan on using it to my advantage.

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2010?
Fuck You, by Cee Lo Green. Such a good tune. It’s going to be hard to forget all those bubblegum pop songs that came out this year too. I listened to a lot more indie this year though. I went through so many musical phases this year. I wanna take all those ideas from each phase and continue to push myself harder in 2011. I posted a blog about my favorite 2010 albums here. https://butteryobread.wordpress.com

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? happier
b) thinner or fatter? even.
c) richer or poorer?  breaking even.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Spending more time with people.  

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Trying to be taken seriously. I see this year being a year where people are going to not try to take things so seriously.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Planning my next musical project, baking cookies, reading a book about setting goals, and watching The Wizard of Oz, roughly in that order.

21. Did you fall in love in 2010?
No. As much as I want to do it, I am so used to doing things independently. Also, I really don’t see myself in a position to be able to provide for someone else when I can barely afford myself. Love is much more than just physical and mental attraction. There is a whole battlefield of terms and conditions to go along with it. Are you going in the same direction in life? Do either of you have your act together financially? Are you a driven person who has specific goals to be met? So much more to be considered. You want to think these kinds of things over before trying to get involved with someone else and their universe. That is what love is, not just a lust n fuck on repeat kind of thing.

22. How many one-night stands?
I think people exaggerate how many sexual partners they have had. lmao, i’m just talking shit. I’ll say i had a million one night stands boning more chicks than Gene Simmons and Wilt Chamberlain combined. 😀

23. What was your favorite TV program?
Didn’t watch TV this year. At my new place there is a old tv that works with basic cable but I never follow anything on TV so I just watch whatever. I consider wanting to get TV shows on DVD or watching them on netflix. Especially good shows that have strong emphasis on character development throughout the series and its seasons. I like watching things from start to finish, I am not a very casual kind of person.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
There are always going to be people who will grow to hate you after a while, or vice versa. I also had quite a few people including former acquaintances delete me from Facebook this year. I can’t take offense to it though. Getting better at solving problems also means eliminating dead weight. Losing friends, or people that were never really your friends in the first place only means there is more room for new people to be met. I must make it a goal of mine this year to build meaningful relationships with people. I also need to take this as a sign that maybe not everyone cares to hear about all the weird music I like to listen to. By this point people already know what time it is. I have a music blog now too, so I can post to my heart’s content about music I listen to. Screw the haters.

25. What was the best book you read?
I am currently reading The Magic Lamp: A Book for People Who Hate Setting Goals. I am taking notes as I read the book, it’s very interesting to hear things from a new perspective, especially on such a elementary topic such as this one.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I like over 1200 things on Facebook. A majority of them are bands. I would like to say I listen to mostly electronic music, but even now those lines are becoming blurred. I want to focus more on being a songwriter and using instruments like guitars, electronics, and what ever else to focus on making a good song. I think with today’s dance music, is that it is so focused on being cutting edge, that the emotion from it is starting to dwindle away, and people are only focused on making songs fit for the clubs. There is so much more to life than clubbing, and I want to try to bring a more universal approach to my music. No worries though, I still really like club music and I don’t think that’s gonna ever fade away for me. I am so excited to think about all the ideas circulating through my head right now.

27. What did you want and get?
Well when I want something, I do whatever any other normal jackoff does to get it…
Malckom’s response…. “I AINT SAVING BREAD!” (hahahaha, that is the funniest shit I have heard from him this year. Such a Big Money kinda statement..)

28. What did you want and not get?
I would have said, “the right people.” but I only realize that this is something that can change with a little more effort on my part. What I want is to have a more flexible life. It’s going to be hard, being required to work full-time, and to go to school. I should probably try to find a side job which may also help me build connections… maybe I ought to dust off my turntables or something. I don’t want to work for “The Man” for the rest of my life.  

29. What were your favorite films of this year?

http://teaser-trailer.com/movies-2010.html I relied on that website to remind me of what came out in 2010. So many movies I wanted to see that I didn’t get around to seeing yet. Here are the one’s from the list I did see and enjoyed seeing either in the movie theatre or on DVD.

Inception, Black Swan, Tron Legacy, The Social Network, Toy Story 3, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, Youth In Revolt, The Book Of Eli, The Lovely Bones, Mel Gibson’s Edge Of Darkness, Percy Jackson’s The Lightning Thief, Shutter Island, Defendor, Machete, Alice In Wonderland, Brooklyn’s Finest, She’s Outta My League, Repo Men, The Bounty Hunter, Hot Tub Time Machine, Kick- Ass, Iron Man 2, Robin Hood, Get Him To The Greek, Karate Kid (2010 Remake), Grown Ups, Due Date, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps, Paranormal Activity 2

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Turned a year older, complained all day about getting older. It was a good day, minus my incessant bitching at the time.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Well more personal conversation with other people. My social life is minimal to none these days. I think it has a lot to do with things, especially in my art and the direction it’s going in.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Kind of the same clothes, but this time I favored fun graphic tee’s and moccasin shoes as opposed to hoods with colorful sneakers. I still like big crazy sunglasses. I had a mohawk at the beginning of 2010, now I have a pompadour cut, which a lot of times I just do a simple comb over, now I am embracing a more retro kind of hairstyle for 2011. It’s fun. Thrift store outfits are pretty neat too. 😀  

33. What kept you sane?
I was talking about this with my hairstylist yesterday, where she said that she also like myself always has to keep working on new projects. We start to go crazy if we don’t keep ourselves busy. No wonder I am always coming up with something else to work on.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
All kinds of people. I try not to limit myself to any one person’s amazingness, but a combination of all kinds of amazingness. I feel more connected to the indie music community now a days, because these are people much like myself who are into being artistic, and their audience is generally composed of people who are continuously interested in hearing/seeing new things. I think this is really healthy. I like it.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
It’s not that I’m no longer political, however, it is not in my place to be a politician.  Like I mentioned earlier, politicians need groups of people to follow them, but with things like the Electoral College, and infrastructure, I feel like we as citizens are powerless to change the political structure of the world.  I do want to take part in doing something to contribute to a revolution, or to something that would better our environment.  I do support independent organizations, and I also will participate in activism from time to time, but I don’t think it is my place to try to be in political office.  Unlike most people though, I welcome talks about politics and religion. This opinion hasn’t changed since 2009.

36. Who did you miss?

37. Who was the best new person you met?
Me. I think I feel like I have a much better idea of self-identity than what I have had in the past 10 years. Just through those grating phone conversations with Malckom, to my constant pushes in my musical efforts, or my sense of being in public I am starting to realize where I belong and the kind of environment I need to be in. Now I have to push for that in 2011.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010:
Goal setting is about planning and setting the goals into a series of steps which will help you work your way towards achieving your wish. You as a person are your greatest asset to accomplishing your goals, the people around you are your best resource to achieving those goals. I need to get out more often in 2011, I need to build those connections and meet those people that are going to help me move forward. I already know quite a few of them now, and I thank you. Sometimes you gotta get others involved in your hustle to make the hustle worth it. In the end, the profits are higher. I am also going to really have to focus on being really good at time management and solving problems, problems will last a lifetime, so we must learn how to attack them more productively. Cheers.


Chris M aka Chris Big Money

About butteryobread

BUTTER YO BREAD! A PLACE TO GET YOUR BREAD BUTTERED! BRING THE LOTION! Writing about music, art, and anything else which makes you wanna butter some bread!
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2 Responses to 2010: The Only Direction Left To Go Is Forward!

  1. We’re half way through January now and you haven’t reviewed anymore music! I want more posts! What is CBM listening to!?

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